All By Myself

In the modern, secular, post-Christian West we love our individualistic delusions of grandeur. I can do it on my own. I don't need help. I don't need instruction. I'm perfectly capable of interpreting things. This is particularly true in religious and spiritual matters. We tend to think that we are the authority and our interpretation and opinion is equally valid with any other. The is a very peculiar idea. We don't take this attitude with anything else. Or, at least, very few of us do. Those that do take the "I know everything about everything" approach to life are generally understood to be either harmless fools or raging narcissists.

Let's have a thought experiment. Would you trust yourself to build a rocket and then get in it and fly to the moon? All of you out there who are engineers, think of something else. My undergraduate is a liberal arts degree that required one math class called "Math for Liberal Arts Majors". I can tell you with some certainty that 2+2 does equal 4. I also know, at a college level, that circles are round, squares are not. Now, let's say that like several of our friends you happen to be a NASA engineer working on the new shuttle (I almost called it a space-ship, but I don't want to hear about it). Okay, so you're a NASA engineer and I'm me possessing all the math and engineering skills that my beloved state requires as "minimum". I invite you over one day and take into my garage and show you the shuttle I have built (and to make it really ring true, with plans I got off the Internet). What would your reaction be? You may laugh and ridicule the abject stupidity of me attempting to design and build a functioning shuttle in my garage because I not only lack anything resembling proper materials but I don't have anything close to a rudimentary understanding of what is needed to construct functioning spacecraft. Or you may smile and patronizingly congratulate the village idiot on a job well done while you secretly hope I don't really intend to fly it and the 55 gallon drum labeled "Rocket Fuel" is really just my lawn clippings. Finally, you might tell me truthfully that I have not built a shuttle. What I have done is poorly construct a death-trap of duck-tape and tin foil mounted on a wheelbarrow that in some abstract way remotely resembles something that was used in a mid-century B-movie about space. You might add that even if I had the plans from NASA for the shuttle, I wouldn't be able to read them. You would remind me that you spent many years in school being taught by experts in the field how to read those plans. That you live and work in the field of space-stuff and even you, with a whole team of engineers, still get it wrong sometimes. But... what is the thing you wouldn't say? You wouldn't say that I have made a fine shuttle and if I believe that it will fly then it will. You won't tell me that rockets, however different, are equally capable of space-flight. You also won't tell me that it's up to each individual to decide how a space shuttle should be designed and built and that we should be give equal respect to all designs because all space shuttles are just different paths to the same moon. Why wouldn't you say that? Because it's stupid. It's very simple, if you don't follow the plan you can't build the shuttle correctly and it won't fly and it might blow up on take off. Sometimes (the Challenger) even if experts do follow the plan they've made accidents happen. To follow the plans, to design and build a shuttle, you don't just pick up a pen and paper and start drawing and assume that because you had math in high school you know all you need to know the leave the earth's orbit in your homemade ship. You learn, you educate yourself through reputable sources, through tried and true methods. You go to the people that are supposed to know what they are talking about and you ask questions and you listen and you discuss. And after many years of this you might be allowed to get coffee for the guys who are designing the next shuttle. 

My Homer Simpson Space Shuttle is the way (as ridiculous as it seems) many of us understand our spiritual lives. Most us possess what might be considered an elementary school knowledge of our faith (if we're lucky) yet we present our opinions on all matter religious as if we were the ranking theologian at the Angelicum. Many of us stopped our religious education before high school, which would put us at about a 6th grade level. Again, there are also many that have no religious, theological, or philosophical education, yet, we believe our opinion should be given equal weight to St. Thomas Aquinas or the greatest living theologian, Benedict XVI. Why? Why do we think this? You wouldn't ask a junior-high student to design a shuttle or handle your retirement accounts. So why do we trust a junior-high student with our soul? I don't trust myself to change my own oil. One of the dumbest statements I've ever heard in my life is the very typical, "I went to Catholic school, I know all about the Church". That's the equivalent of saying, "I took math in high school, I know all about quantum physics."

We must look to the experts. We must look to the tried and true. The experts I mean are the experts in the spiritual life- the saints. We must look to what God has provided us; the Church and the Scriptures and all that is contained within those two. If I'm not sure how to do something and I don't want to screw it up, I try to find someone who does know how to do it, because they've done it already and done it well. If I want to grow in my spiritual life I want to look to those who have already done it and succeeded. Read the lives of the saints. Read the works of the saints. Read your scriptures and receive the sacraments. Together these are blueprints for our lives.    

Signs of Life

Yesterday we got into a discussion about signs. It went back and forth over the topics of what signs are, should we look for signs, should we ask for signs, etc. On one hand Jesus tells the Pharisees that he will not be giving them a sign. This is not because he can't or there is anything wrong with signs, he is only telling them that they have been given signs non-stop for thousands of years, up to and including Himself and they ignored them. Why should they be given another? Essentially, Jesus is saying we don't need signs, everything we need has already been provided, just do it. On the other hand, in the lives of the saints and even the apostles, we find God offering them a non-coercive but easily understandable sign of His will for them to accept of reject. In our own lives, if we are honest, we (probably in hind-sight) can recognize the moments God made His will manifest to us in a particular way. So should we look for signs? The issue made me think of an analogy, follow me if you will:

What is a sign? Let's say it's something that gives evidence of a presence or offers a clue toward direction. For example, God giving you a sign that He is with you or God giving you a sign of His will, or rather the direction He wants you to move. On to the analogy:

Let's say I'm a soldier (I wasn't a soldier, I was a Marine, big difference). Anyway, let's say I'm patrolling through the jungle hunting an enemy platoon. I will pay attention in a way that is very different than a leisurely stroll through the park. I will look for indications (that would be signs) of the enemy's presence or direction; things like snapped twigs, over-turned leaves, a piece or thread on a branch, or boot-prints. These things are often so small that if I am not looking for them I would walk right by and possibly right into an ambush. To further the analogy, it's not enough that I be on the lookout for signs, I have to be trained and experienced enough to know what I'm looking for, otherwise I may mistake something for a sign that will send me in the wrong direction, or even worse, it could be a trick and a trap. What I'm getting at here is that recognizing and interpreting a sign or signs is much more involved than simply asking for them.

Very often if we are looking for a sign we will find one, and amazingly, it will tell us exactly what we want! Everything we are tempted to take as sign needs to be run past the Pathfinder, because he knows the difference. It would do us well to remember St. Paul instructing us that even if an angel should tell us something contrary to the gospel it is a lie and he is no angel but a demon of hell. A big part of a mature spirituality is the recognition that we don't know and in many ways can't know so long as we're on this side of eternity. We need a Pathfinder to help us read the signs correctly, so we don't walk into an ambush.

Some will say, "If you're looking for signs you will see them whether they are real or not." This is true, at least to a degree, and on par with reading the horoscopes. What the person making this kind of assumption fails to note is the distinction in spiritual growth. A person in their spiritual infancy must be wary reading signs into everything because, like the inexperienced soldier, will see the enemy behind every rock and tree. The trained and experienced soldier knows what to look for and what to ignore, so it should stand to reason that he will "see" more signs and interpret them correctly. In the spiritual life this comes through taking time to study and learn but most importantly taking time to be in God's presence. Just as in tracking your enemy through the jungle, if you are on the right trail the sign will become more apparent and easier to read. And just like that patrol, the closer you get the louder and more distinct the signs are because they aren't just clues of a platoon that passed by hours ago but they are the actual sound of their voices and the rattle of their equipment.

Now, to get off the military analogy. Think about the Christmas song "Do You Hear What I Hear?" It's about signs and how we recognize and interpret them. The song begins with Creation asking the lamb if it has noticed what is happening. It goes on to the shepherds and the magi, all them being asked, essentially, "Did you read the signs? Do you get it?" They do, of course, because they were already on the path and they knew what they were looking for. They read the signs as clues to what was coming and when they got closer they finally understood what all the signs had been pointing to, or they recognized the direction they supposed to go and they went. The huge difference comes in with (not in the song, in real life) the ways the signs are interpreted. The shepherds, the magi, and others read the signs and came to see the Christ-child who will save the world. Herod (who couldn't read the signs and had to them explained by the magi because he didn't even notice them) interpreted the Child as a threat to his power. Just something to think about these last few weeks of Advent.    

Stupid Winter



 Photograph By Gary Norbraten


I dislike winter intensely. I also know that what we call winter and what most of the U.S. will call winter are two very different things. Well, that's why I live here and not there. Winter; why do I hate you? Let me count the ways: 1) cold surf, 2) wetsuits that make you look like a B-movie space ranger, 3) pants and shoes. This list is by no means exhaustive, feel free to add to it. Granted, our winter will last only about ten days over a three month period, but still, I had to bring the pineapple plants inside last night. Some people love winter. I'll bet that they love it for the same reasons I hate it and the love and hate of winter are really both the same spiritual response.

Spiritually, what is winter? It's the beginning of Advent. What is Advent? It's the season of preparation for Christmas. It is also the season of "ends". With the cold comes death. Think about the first cold-front that blows in. The time changes and that days are growing shorter and darker. The plants start to die or hibernate (well, not so much here, but I've seen movies where they did). The world is coming to a close, creation is going to sleep.

This is where the love/hate comes in... I hate winter because it means I have to anticipate Spring. I hate it because it means that everything is coming to a close and I have to wait for the new birth. I hate the cold because it tells me that the old is falling away. For the same reasons, some love the winter. They love the crispness or even the bitterness of the cold because it tells them that Spring is coming. They rejoice in the falling away of the old because it prepares for the new. I hate, they love, but really for the same reasons: we both long for Spring.

Where is Advent in all this? It is the preparation for Christmas. It is the dark before the dawn, the coldest part of night. It's no coincidence that St. John the Baptist's Nativity is around (it used to be ON) the Summer Solstice, that is the longest day of the year. John's birth signified the beginning of the end. The close of the Old Covenant is symbolized by the the days growing darker as we approach Christmas. We plunge into the dark days of waiting, wondering, and perhaps mourning, that is, asking if Spring will ever come, if we will survive the darkness. Christmas (for the woefully uncatechized, the celebration of Christ's nativity) is symbolically placed on the Winter Solstice (or now, December 25). Winter Solstice is the shortest day of the year. We celebrate the birth of Jesus on the shortest day of the year because upon his birth, every day the light grows stronger as the darkness retreats. Death turns to new life. Warmth overtakes the cold. The nativity symbolizes the new beginning, the New Covenant.

The question is how are we going to move through Advent this year? Are we going to rejoice that Christmas is near? Or do we find sorrow in knowing that there is still quite a bit of encroaching darkness to endure before the light returns? If we are honest, I would hope that what we are really doing is a bit of both. I hope that can let ourselves know a joyful longing. We can know that God is so close, yet so far. When we are sorrowful at the distance we find peace in His closeness. Before we become complacent at His nearness, we are reminded of how great the distance between us.