We are all called to be contemplatives. We are all invited to contemplation, seriously, we are: look it up (Catechism of the Catholic Church 2558). How that takes shape is different for each of us, but always oriented to that same Place, the same Person because it is initiated by only One Person: The Person.
The Father, in His infinite wisdom and humor, much to my wife's annoyance*, made me a surfer. I know what you're thinking and you're wrong. Surfing is not a sport, is not a pastime, it is a sub-vocation, a calling, a prayer that combines the totality of our being. It is "deep calling on deep". He made me a surfer because that's how He could get me. He could reveal Himself to me in a way that I won't run from or fight, that I will embrace. There are few moments more wrapped in meditation than surfing alone on an empty beach (warm water and empty breaks make up for lesser-surf; Gulf Coast: High-five!). I decided to use this meditation as the first post in History of Jason in the hopes that it sets a tone (and yes, I know that all analogies eventually break down; it's a meditation not a philosophical treatise):
God is like the waves. He comes to me constantly, whether I'm ready to surf or not. Each wave is an invitation to surf. The wave is clean and perfect and all of Creation is contained in this moment. It will pass harmlessly by if I let it. I don't have to catch it. The wave is beautiful, inviting, playful, and caressing. It is also deadly and unyielding. I can't close my eyes and make it go away. I can't claim it doesn't exist and not suffer the consequences. The wave, like God, is coming and I can't stop it. I can only react. I can run from it. I can let it pass. Or, I can catch it. If I run, it will catch me and it will crush me. If I let it pass I may miss out on the ride of my life either because of fear or laziness. But if I catch it, I am in another world...
To catch the wave I have to commit, totally and without reservation. If I balk or hold back I'll be worse off than if I had just let it pass (because now I know). In reality, very little of what I do is catching the wave. I really just set up and it catches me. All I can do is be ready and willing. If I approach the wave on my terms I get a short, sloppy ride at best or a bone-crushing wipe out at worst. But if if I do it right, if I take the wave's offer, it pulls me in and holds me. If I go with the wave instead of fighting it, it just continues to open up, giving more and more of itself. Eventually, the last section begins to flatten out and just time because my legs can't handle any more.
I talk about the wave changing and opening up; in truth, it never changed. The wave is, and was, always open, always exactly what is. It never changed, I changed. I changed the moment it picked me up and I moved into eternity. In the wave there is no time, all time is now, all reality is here, everything is present; and it's good. Just like the fleeting moments of contemplation, I can't stay in the wave forever, not yet, I couldn't handle it. Just like with God, after that period intense closeness, He lets me go and I can never go back to way I was was before the I took that first stroke into the wave.
Surfing is not an individual event. It's a relationship. I have to know the wave. I have to touch the wave and be willing to become completely immersed. I have to give myself over totally to the wave, anything I hold back will only make the relationship weaker. The Wave gives everything, all the time. What kind of surfer would I be if I hold back?
*I'm joking (mostly). My wife has never been anything but supportive of every half-baked scheme I've ever dreamt up. She has NEVER in our 5 years of marriage told me I couldn't go surfing.
The Father, in His infinite wisdom and humor, much to my wife's annoyance*, made me a surfer. I know what you're thinking and you're wrong. Surfing is not a sport, is not a pastime, it is a sub-vocation, a calling, a prayer that combines the totality of our being. It is "deep calling on deep". He made me a surfer because that's how He could get me. He could reveal Himself to me in a way that I won't run from or fight, that I will embrace. There are few moments more wrapped in meditation than surfing alone on an empty beach (warm water and empty breaks make up for lesser-surf; Gulf Coast: High-five!). I decided to use this meditation as the first post in History of Jason in the hopes that it sets a tone (and yes, I know that all analogies eventually break down; it's a meditation not a philosophical treatise):
God is like the waves. He comes to me constantly, whether I'm ready to surf or not. Each wave is an invitation to surf. The wave is clean and perfect and all of Creation is contained in this moment. It will pass harmlessly by if I let it. I don't have to catch it. The wave is beautiful, inviting, playful, and caressing. It is also deadly and unyielding. I can't close my eyes and make it go away. I can't claim it doesn't exist and not suffer the consequences. The wave, like God, is coming and I can't stop it. I can only react. I can run from it. I can let it pass. Or, I can catch it. If I run, it will catch me and it will crush me. If I let it pass I may miss out on the ride of my life either because of fear or laziness. But if I catch it, I am in another world...
To catch the wave I have to commit, totally and without reservation. If I balk or hold back I'll be worse off than if I had just let it pass (because now I know). In reality, very little of what I do is catching the wave. I really just set up and it catches me. All I can do is be ready and willing. If I approach the wave on my terms I get a short, sloppy ride at best or a bone-crushing wipe out at worst. But if if I do it right, if I take the wave's offer, it pulls me in and holds me. If I go with the wave instead of fighting it, it just continues to open up, giving more and more of itself. Eventually, the last section begins to flatten out and just time because my legs can't handle any more.
I talk about the wave changing and opening up; in truth, it never changed. The wave is, and was, always open, always exactly what is. It never changed, I changed. I changed the moment it picked me up and I moved into eternity. In the wave there is no time, all time is now, all reality is here, everything is present; and it's good. Just like the fleeting moments of contemplation, I can't stay in the wave forever, not yet, I couldn't handle it. Just like with God, after that period intense closeness, He lets me go and I can never go back to way I was was before the I took that first stroke into the wave.
Surfing is not an individual event. It's a relationship. I have to know the wave. I have to touch the wave and be willing to become completely immersed. I have to give myself over totally to the wave, anything I hold back will only make the relationship weaker. The Wave gives everything, all the time. What kind of surfer would I be if I hold back?
*I'm joking (mostly). My wife has never been anything but supportive of every half-baked scheme I've ever dreamt up. She has NEVER in our 5 years of marriage told me I couldn't go surfing.
Do we get class credit for reading this stuff?
ReplyDeletePaul Brown
OK I will put it back. I said- There are many ways to travel on our spiritual journey. You are blessed to have found yours... the surfboard. I think I will try the hammock and the margarita.
ReplyDelete